How to improve writing (no. 9 in a series)

From the insert to a concert program, thanking a couple who donated $100,000+:

We thank the [Blanks] for their commitment to the cultural life of this entire region.

As opposed to ... most of the region? a large part of it? There's no need for entire, because big or small, a region is by definition a whole. I'm reminded of reading sentences that begin "Throughout the entire novel": there too there's no need for entire. Better:

We thank the [Blanks] for their commitment to the cultural life of our region.

Or just the region, but the slight extra emphasis on the first-person plural is a nice touch.

Link » Other How to improve writing posts, via Pinboard